So my friends decided awhile ago- like when I was writing Love but Never- that I should have a random character named Shamus show up in a bar scene. They also decided he should be a magician. So I finally found a way to write the scene, without forcing the encounter. So without further ado- here is the unedited scene:
“Hey,” a guy at the end of the bar called.
“Are you talking to me?” I asked, pointing at myself and looking confused. I know I don't know this guy, nor am I sure I want to.
“I don't see any other goth hotties in here, do you?” he asked, now openly leering at my chest like it can grant all his wishes.
“Just cause I have black hair, it doesn't mean I'm goth,” I growled, tired of this stereotype that goes along with my new hair color. I still wear bright colors and refrain from heavy eyeliner, so honestly I don't get the correlation.
“Can I buy you a drink?” he asked.
“No, thanks, I'm here with my friend, Abby and her boyfriend. It's her birthday, don't want to bail out on her. I'm just grabbing her a blow job,” I told him, wondering why I told him the name of the shot I'm buying. I know he's going to think this is an in when it's totally not.
“Wow, sounds hot! Can you take it with no hands?” he leaned closer to me and I catch a whiff of the beer he's apparently been rolling around in and decide to mess with him a little.
“Of course, but I don't take the shot from the bar like an amateur,” I scoff. “I can take it from my cleavage,” I whisper and right on cue his eyes widen like he's won the fucking lottery with me. Holding up two fingers he signals the bartender and orders two blow job shots for me.
“I'm Shamus,” he said, running a hand through his orange hair and winking one of his nice green eyes at me.
“What the hell kind of name is that? Are you a leprechaun?” I asked, discovering that the four shots mark was when my filter disappeared. Suddenly, the bartender sets the shots in front of Shamus, who hands me one expectantly.
“It's the name of the guy who wants to see your parlor trick so you can take this other shot to your friend for free.”
Growling slightly, I grab the shot from his hand and expose another half inch of my cleavage by pulling on the bottom of my blue halter top. Placing the shot on the outer edge of my breasts, I put my hands behind my back, letting my head descend toward my tits. Securing the shot glass in my mouth, I throw back the shot and yank the glass from my teeth, slamming it back on the bar top. Smiling triumphantly, I wipe the excess whipped cream from my lips with my tongue slowly.
“Damn that was hot!” he exclaims, handing me my trophy shot. “You know, I know a few tricks myself,” he lowers his voice suggestively.
“Like what? You know how to blow yourself? I knew that wasn't just a myth.”
“No, but I can make my cock disappear.”
“Like in a cold lake? Shrinkage?”
I can tell he's slightly irritated at my apparent prejudice against his wiener, so I let him get to the punch line of his pick up attempt.
“No, baby, it can disappear and reappear from this tight little hole called your ass. Wanna see?”
“You go straight for the anal? Wow, Shamus, I expected better from you. Thanks for the shot though,” I hold up the glass and turn toward my friends.
“You didn’t tell me your name!” I heard him shout behind me.
Turning again, I yelled back “You’re right, Shamus, I didn’t.” Shaking my head at his presumptuousness, I went back to the refuge of my friend and her boyfriend who agreed to drive us around so we could get balls ass drunk. I wondered if he was regretting the decision as I set the shot down in front of Abby.
“Free shot bitch! Happy birthday! Suck it down!” I yelled as I plopped down beside her.