Love, but Never rewrite...

It's not really a rewrite, per say, just a heavy revision. Below is the revised introduction and first chapter! Please let me know what you think!

New cover for The Weakness in Me!

I decided to give the cover a redesign after some feedback that it wasn't resonating well with my audience. I LOVE the new cover. Let me know what you think

Waking up on the wrong side of the bed

I'm in a mood this morning that even sour cream and onion pringles for breakfast can't fix. And I don't know about you, but I think that is the breakfast of champions. This feeling goes all the way back to marching band roadtrips in high school.

Anyway, a few housekeeping items: I'm at about the 75% mark of Drama Free 2003 and I'm hoping to have it in editing by the end of May so that my timeline for an August release stays in tact! After I finish this book, I'm going to be working hard on Lucian's book and a heavy duty rewrite/edit on Love, But Never, which I pulled from Amazon while I complete this.

The Weakness in Me did not make the semi-finals for the ABNA contest, but the review from Publishers' Weekly was better than I could've imagined! They called it a 'Heartbreaking contemporary romance' and said that "the author solidly paints the agony of losing a loved one and the long process of recovery." I'm sure the emphasis is on long, because The Weakness in Me is (of course) about Samantha and Jason's relationship, but it's also about learning to live again after you lose someone you really and truly loved. It's a slow building book because there was no way Samantha and Jason would've found their way back to each other any sooner. There was a lot of hurt on both sides of that relationship when it ended. I was over the moon when I read this, though, because as an author, still new to the game of writing full length novels for public consumption, rather than someone who writes short stories and papers for school, I have the tendency to question my abilities. I know that I am growing with every story I write and you hope that every book you write is better than the last, but that doesn't mean it's true.

If the review wasn't as good as it was, I probably would still be in a dark room, rocking back and forth, telling myself it's okay cause my mom likes me. I would still write, but I'd be way more gun shy about releasing my work to the general population.

That's it for now. 'Like' me on facebook and follow me on twitter for random updates about popcorn flavored jelly bellys, how hot I think Captain Hook from Once Upon A Time is, and probably my thoughts on the upcoming NFL draft.

The Weakness in Me free on Amazon tomorrow!

To celebrate the release of the paperback and getting a pretty good Publishers' Weekly review of 'The Weakness in Me', the kindle edition will be available for free tomorrow only! Pick up a copy of the book my reviewer from PW called 'A heartbreaking contemporary romance' that 'solidly paints the agony of losing a loved one and the slow process of recovery.'

Drama Free 2003- Lucas doesn't want a relationship

I've written almost 12k words this week, so I'm releasing another teaser of Drama Free 2003. Just a reminder...this is raw and unedited. It is subject to change before the release of the book. This is from Lucas' POV

Because of the couch moving extravaganza, my regular lunch date with Abby was pushed back a day, guaranteeing a run in with Eric. When we pulled up, I could tell she was already giddy with the prospect. I still didn’t understand what it was about being in a couple that made you suddenly want to pair up all of your friends, even if the thought of being in a relationship made them want to claw their eyes out.

“Stop bouncing, Abby, before I have to tell Ted to stop giving you sugar in the morning,” I growled. When she giggled, I continued, “I didn’t mean in the metaphorical sense. I literally mean I’m going to tell him to stop buying you donuts.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” her green eyes widened and I hid my grin behind a curtain of black hair as I bent to pick up my purse from the floorboard beside her.

“Just behave, okay? I don’t have the desire or time to turn my arrangement with Eric into something more permanent,” I warned again.

“Fine,” she pouted, but exited my truck with her head high. “But, that’s not going to stop us from partying like crazy this weekend, right?”

“Ugh,” I groaned, when the date flashed in my head. “I told Dennis I’d work Saturday at the other hotel to make up for the time I’m taking off for my party next weekend. I’m sorry! I totally forgot you wanted to drink your way through Mill Ave!”

“Ugh is right!” Abby’s pout seemed to grow deeper at my words. “But, if it’s slow, he’ll let you leave early and you can meet Ted and me wherever we are?”

“But how am I supposed to help you drink your way down Mill if I have to drive afterward?”

“Ted and I will pick you up and we’ll get trashed!” she grinned at the new plan. “I can’t promise I won’t be already trashed though.”

“I didn’t expect you to wait, Abs, believe me,” I chuckled as we made our way to the familiar bar top and two empty chairs against the wall. Part of me wondered if we were really that lucky to always find bar seats right away, or if we had help from a guardian angel answering the phone.

“Hey, Eric,” I greeted, flipping him a salute as we sat down.

“Hey, Lucas, am I up tonight?” he asked, winking at me with his dark brown eyes sparkling.

“Do you want to be?” I flirted.

“I already am,” he stage-whispered to me across the bar.

“Well, I get off work at 11 tonight, if you want to swing by,” I offered.

“Sounds like a plan,” he smiled. “I’ll be the puppy scratching at the door at 11:15. I tried to call the other night, but you didn’t answer.”

“Oh, I had someone over,” I answered, dismissively.

“Auditioning another newbie, Lucas?”

“Oh, nothing like that,” I laughed. “My friend, Brady, stayed over to help me move a couch Carter gave me.”

“Look at you all fancy with your furniture from ex-boyfriends.”

“Carter isn’t an ex, well, not really.”

“I couldn’t see you for like three months when you met Carter, Luke. Even if there were no labels, he was your boyfriend,” Eric said.

“I’ve seen you guys together, Lucas. Carter was your boyfriend,” Abby agreed, making me feel cornered.

“Doesn’t matter now, does it?” I sneered at them. “I tried to show him I could commit, but he wasn’t interested.”

“That guy is straight up in love with you, Lucas,” Abby shook her head. “Mark my words, if he starts to feel like someone is a threat to his tentative claim on you, he’ll get aggressive.”

“Maybe I should meet this guy, size him up, make sure he’s worthy of you,” Eric offered, his eyes suddenly distant.

“Thanks, but—”

“You’re still coming to the party next weekend, right?” Abby asked, starting to bounce in her chair again.

“Um, I was planning on it; you’re still getting me a pack of New Castles, right?”

“Yeah,” I nod.

“Then you can meet Carter then! He’d never miss one of Lucas’ parties, too much lady on lady action.”

“Good to know,” he rubbed his chin as the phone at his station started to ring and he excused himself to get back to work. Our waitress came to grab our usual order and Abby and I fell into a companionable silence until our drinks came.

“So, how did everything go with Carter and Brady?” Abby asked before taking a sip of her Coke.

“Fine,” I shrugged, plunging my straw into the glass of ice cold Dr. Pepper in front of me.

“Fine? Really? Cause Carter had murder in his eyes when you kissed Brady last weekend.”

“I know,” I sighed. “He kissed me hard enough to bruise after I kissed Brady, like he was trying to prove something,” I rolled my eyes.

“So, nothing’s going on with you and Brady?”

“Carter asked me that yesterday, too, and the answer is no,” I shut her down. “Brady is a good friend, he doesn’t think of me like that.”

“Oh, convenient little phrasing there, Lucas,” Abby smirked over the chunk of pizza in her hand.

“What do you mean?” I frowned.

“He doesn’t think about you like that? What about you?”

“What about me? That doesn’t matter; neither of us is looking for anything. I think his divorce turned him against relationships.”

“Hmmm, sounds perfect to me,” she grinned.

“You really don’t care who I’m paired up with, do you? Carter, Eric, Brady? You just want me to have a boyfriend.”

“Um, HELLOOOOO?” she said, as if what she was about to say was the most obvious thing in the word. “Double dating?”

“It’s not my fault you want me to come on your dates with Ted, Abs,” I groaned. “I don’t want to be in a couple, what makes you think there is even the remote possibility that I’d want to be a part of a couple’s night? That’s like double the commitment,” I choked out, disgusted at her suggestion. “I’m afraid something like that would actually cause my death, because I would be suffocating on my lack of freedom.”

“Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it, Luke,” she warned before we turned back to our lunches. I was beginning to wonder if I was going to have to distance myself from Abby until she realized that Lucas Dunn and relationships were like oil and water or maybe I should just double down on the debauchery until she got the point. Yes, this was something that could only be fixed by calling in the rotation in succession. I’d only been calling Eric for far too long and people were starting to get ideas.

Though, my heart gave a little kick I didn’t want to acknowledge when I thought about the possibility of adding Brady as a pinch hitter. I couldn’t fight the visions that flooded my brain of having him as the only player in the dugout, and how it almost brought a smile to my face. Fuck! I’ve gotta get rid of this crush, because it was more dangerous than I ever thought possible.

Beta request again!

I'm about 50% through Drama Free and I'm still looking for beta readers. I only have a few and I need more!! Please email me (joeskatan@gmail.com) if you are interested!!!!!!

A little bit of me

I put a little bit of myself into every book I write, and I think most authors would say the same thing. For instance, even though the spelling isn't quite correct, Sammy's daughter Corigan is a dedication to my favorite band, the Smashing Pumpkins and my love for the musical genius that is Billy Corgan. Lucas in Drama Free 2003 has a cat named Shadow. I'm a total cat person, even though my husband is a dog person. Chloe in a work in progress that doesn't have a title yet, plays the flute, which I've played for 20 years now.

The hardest thing for me to write about was Marissa in Love, but Never. She and I both have Crohn's disease. I'll have been diagnosed for 10 years at the end of this year. I've been (mostly) in remission since 2005, thanks to biological immunosuppressant drugs like Remicade and Humira, but when I was first diagnosed, I had to take almost a year off of college and it threw my life into total upheaval. Although, it derailed Marissa's plans and caused issues in her day to day life, it didn't impact her nearly as much as it did me! After all of the other problems she had, I couldn't let her suffer as much as I did.

These last three days, I've been in the midst of a Crohn's flare that has nearly brought me to my knees! Worst I've had in years! So I'm so far behind on my goals for Drama Free 2003, but I'm at about the 50% mark, so I am hoping for a surge when I'm no longer incapacitated by pain...the story is starting to back up in my head and I need to start getting it out again.

I'll release another teaser one I get started again!!

Drama Free 2003- Meet Brady

Be aware this is unedited and unrevised. This is the beginning of the 2nd chapter, when we first get to hear from Brady, as opposed to hearing about Brady.Brady

The manufacturing plant where I worked was still shut down for the holidays until Monday, and I wouldn’t get my daughter again until tomorrow. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was bored. My roommate, Flynn, was out with some crazy tatted chick he’d met at the sex shop where he worked graves. Meanwhile, our other roommate, Becca, was looking at me like she wanted to devour me whole. I knew she was jealous that Flynn, her ex, was out on a date and she wasn’t, but I didn’t know if I wanted to hook up with her anymore. It was something that had become common place for us since a party at Lucy’s old house, before she moved to Tempe.

Lucy, damn, I went a whole ten minutes without thinking about her and what happened at her house a couple of nights ago. Which was nothing. I just helped her get rid of a guy she didn’t want anymore. I wasn’t thinking about the way she smelled like apples or how she fit perfectly in my arms, because I just couldn’t go there with anyone. Love was a soul sucking pit of existence, and I refused to get sucked in again.

“Are you watching this?” I asked Becca, motioning toward the old episode of Buffy playing on the television.

“No, why?” she asked. I knew she was trying to sound seductive, but all I heard was desperation. “What did you have in mind?” It took everything I had to hold back the cringe I felt as she trailed her fingers from my wrist up my arm. Something about her touch right now just felt wrong.

“I wanted to play some GTA, but if you’re watching the show…” I trailed off, shutting down her flirtations.

“No, you can have it,” she snarled and tore out of the living room toward her bedroom, slamming her door behind her. I know she wanted me to feel guilty for rejecting her advances, but I just couldn’t bring myself to care. With a shrug, grabbed my controller and sat down in front of my Play Station to steal some cars and kill some hookers.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a callous guy, but damn if that girl had no respect for herself. She was attractive and nice, but not for me. I don’t know why she thought it was her roommately duty to attend to Flynn and me that way. She and Flynn had been off and on since high school, but I always thought their relationship was a cluster fuck of epic proportions. It was so destructive that it swallowed everyone it touched whole and regurgitated their bones. They’d been engaged more times than I could count, but always broke up. They were good people separately, but together, damn, they were a category five hurricane. I’d question why I got involved with her in the first place, given her on-going history with my best friend, but I knew the answer to that, it was 80 proof and started with the letter V.